The day I realised I was pregnant

How do you know you are pregnant?

For some, they start having morning sickness. For some its craving. For some they get emotional.

I did not get any of the above.

I knew I was pregnant through Yoga.

The year was 2004. I went for my regular Yoga class. At that time I could not touch my toes when I was sitting down. No paschimottanasan(seated, forward bend) for me. I would say I was a beginner.

It was a normal Hatha class. Nothing vigorous or too challenging. We did the normal warm up etc. Then the instructor told us to slowly touch the floor or knees according to our abilities. I did as I was instructed. Then she instructed that we slowly stand back up. I did very very slow. But I found myself to be light headed. On the second try, I was light headed again. This never happened to me, ever. I felt a little dizzy and decided to sit down.

After that I continued and did what I could manage.

After the class, as I walked out I wondered what was wrong with me as I never had that sensation before.

Since I was late, I decided to buy a pregnancy test kit.

I was not expecting anything but I would be very happy if I was expecting.

I saw two red bars. I could not believe my eyes.

I was pregnant for the second time.

So ladies, while doing YOga if you find something is amiss, maybe you are just expecting a little bambino or maybe you are not. Get it checked.

Here I am with the little bimbino, 14 years after.

The first time I heard the word YOGA!

Before I talk about my journey going upside down, let me tell you the first time I heard the term Yoga.

The year was 1986. Some of you were born and some of you were perhaps in another sphere at that time.

I went to the National University of Singapore. AT that time you have to choose two majors and a minor. I choose Political Science and Philosophy as my major and Sociology as my minor. When I chose Philosophy as a major, I had very little idea what it was about except that it has to do with thinking and arguing your point.

In my first year, Logic Paper was compulsory. The argument is, to win any idea, it has to be logical. Fair enough. Then I realised that a logic paper is actually a formulation of deduction. It was very much like Maths. At that point I thought to myself what did I get myself into cos I am a 'genius' at Maths.. NOT!! There were symbols and equation. Very much like Maths...(I thought I was going to die!). Then, I was told a few had to leave the university because they failed their logic paper after a retest. The system then was merciless. You take a retest if you failed the first time. If you failed again, you are not allowed to drop that subject and take a different subject. Simply means, you made the wrong choice of subject, too bad... you don't belong there. Merciless indeed. If you are lucky, they allow you to redo your first year, even if you had passed the other subjects.

Then a bomb hit me!! I failed my logic paper. I studied relentlessly for my retest day and night. Practised any logic problem I had my hands on. Phew!! I passed.

Second year was smoother and a breeze to me. I had to pick 3 topics for philosophy. One of the three I picked was Indian Philosophy. Yoga Philosophy falls under that. At that time YOga was rather foreign. I knew it was something exotic and interesting.  There were many sanskrit words to remember.  Most of the time, I thought it was just academic and did not apply anything to me. I also thought it was just ideas and could not understand some of the concepts. 20 plus years later when I took my 200hr Teacher training and studied YOga philosophy again, there were several "Aha" moments with concepts like Ahimsa, Satya, Yama and Niyama.

What I learn is that ideas are just ideas until you can apply and makes sense of it.

Only when one applies and understand how it benefits oneself can one truly appreciate these simple but yet practical concepts. I suppose coupled with a few years of life experiences, I could relate better with the concepts. Life is actually the best University and experience is indeed the best teacher.

Yoga and padi field

I love nature.

I can stare at the sea, clouds, mountains and anything to do with nature for hours. Husband would say I am zoning out haha but it's just something about nature that makes one feel so peaceful and true.

Being in Malaysia, I love seeing padi fields. Its something we do not have in Singapore. It touches something so basic in your mulandara(first charkra) I feel.

When I started to be more serious in Yoga, one of my wish was to practice Yoga near a padi field. What can be more beautiful than to do two of your favourite things in one go?

Then, one day we decided to go on a road trip in Malaysia. I researched for places to stay. I wanted to stay in a nice kampung house with modern amenities, a plus, if it overlooks the padi field. Lo and behold, I got my wish granted when I chanced upon Sunset Valley in Langkawi.

AND made my dream come true with a Yoga practice right in front of the picturesque padi field.

The feeling of practising there, was magical. It was almost a 1.5 hour practice but it did not feel like it at all.  I thanked God for allowing me to find the perfect place to stay, gratitude to my body for being able to practice and love for everything beautiful that I witnessed and experienced when I stayed there.

Corporate Yoga is FUN!

Oh how I enjoyed teaching this group of Yoga students at Viacom which comprises MTV, Nicklodean, Comedy Central.

I looked forward to every Thursday to teach them. Lessons started at 6.30pm. I would arrive early, put aromatherapy diffuser and some soothing music. Once the aroma floats into the office, the students started to stream in, one by one, unfolded their mats. I see the smiles, enthusiasm and eagerness for physical punishment and mental calmness... it sounds like an oxymoron, but its not really. Through Yoga breathing and calmness of mind, the asana is slowly executed with ease slowly slowly, week after week. From a wobbly tree pose during the first lesson, to a steadier tree second lesson as the earth's energy travels through the body. Week after week, the body gets stronger and after a few weeks the feet is rooted to the ground, stability sets in and calmness of the mind is attained.

I always like to start the class with Oohm to tap on the universal sound into our own system, nadi shodana to balance the energy flow in the nadis, followed by guided meditation. After a hard days work, I think its something which is welcomed. To have some me time on the mat and to just be one with the breath, nothing else matters.

Each week, the sequence after the warm up changes. I would think my YOga is weighted on mindfulness. I will also explain the benefits of each asana. I think its important for students to   understand the benefits of each asana instead of just going through the motion.

Its not unusual after class, for students to come up to ask for some poses to help in therapy of certain physical discomfort. I love to share what I know and the energy is so wonderful before, during and after class.

I had one student who had been trying to get pregnant, maybe the lessons managed to relax her. I was so happy when I was told her absence from class was due to her pregnancy.

After the first 3 months of lessons, the management wanted to change to a different type of exercise but due to poor demand, I was called in again to resume my lessons for another 3 months.  I was happy. My students were happy.

We had fun playing. Laughed when we tumbled. Nobody took themselves seriously during YOga. Its a playground. Its when adults go out to play at work! Laugh, be a child, roll in a pretzel, be a strong tree, be a cat, a cow, a rabbit and  a fierce lion. Whatever, through Joy, you find your BALANCE.

However, on the last month, a family decision was made for us to move to Kuala LUmpur. With a very heavy heart I told my students that July  2015would be my last month.

I remember the last few lessons, some wanted to learn to do the headstand. So I prepared asanas to strengthen and prep their muscles...some were afraid, some were gung-ho... but ultimately everybody had their feet against the wall and their head on the floor.

By the last lesson, we did a wave of headstand one by one against the wall.

I will never forget the smiles. The sense of achievement on their faces. I was one of them. For some headstand came easy. Not for me. I had to work for it. I had to learn which muscle to activate and control. Its through this self awareness, that I am able to empathise and instruct my students.

AFter the lesson, I was in for a surprise, there was a lovely cake, presents from YoungLiving and a beautiful written card from all my students.

They will forever be in my heart.. I will always treasure my memory with them. Namaste.

I am back!

OMG just realised that my last entry was in 2015.

2015 has been a trying year for me emotionally. Thank God for Yoga and my faith, I am able to maintain my balance and zen.

I have seen the change in me before and after Yoga. If before, I sometimes let emotion take over when I am upset  But now I realise I am able to exercise patience and judgement with conscience.

I think all the meditation has helped me to maintain my centre and to respond to external challenges in a more measured way.  That year I can meditate up to 45minutes and maintain my presence. I think I really needed it at that time.

But I am one not to hang on to bad times. So during challenging times, I try to go within to get me strength and when it is over, I move on and prefer not to hang on to that period.

So whatever challenges you face, take it as an opportunity to grow within. Once its passed, move on. Do not hang on to it.